Roller-Coaster

Running into the abyss they travel, like ravenous wolves searching for their next victim

Scraping their way to the surface, hoping to throw off the balance that was once so easy

Simply put they hold their purpose and yet they choose to rebel at inconvenient times

Grateful that they take control with such force, there's no time for the true power to react

Fortunately for them, unfortunately for me I have not yet learned to be wise enough to silence their naive voice.

My decisions this week have been incredibly tough and like I said in my last post I realize that it is only going to get more and more difficult. I know that I need to make a decision and stick with it, but this is hard for me because I am so easily influenced by my friends and family advice. I have tried making pro/cons lists but they haven't helped yet. I know what I'm afraid of and that is basically the outcome, the unknown.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." Raymond Lindquist

Tonight's workout was rough. I'm so grateful that I have Erin to stick it out with me. All of the articles I've read or the programs I've seen on TV that say it is easier to get in shape with a friend, with support...well they're right. I have also finally found my motivational words to help me keep going. Now I just need a song. Tonight, although it was extremely strenuous and tough, I felt like we accomplished a lot. I didn't do too hot on my "No List" for food but the workout, I believe, made up for it. I missed CRU tonight because I ended up working out later than expected and this made me sad but I really did turn to God tonight and he helped push me. I wanted to give up when running but I prayed and felt him and I finished out strong. I am proud of myself and thank Him for being with me. Yesterday, I went to a Bible Study for the first time in college and I enjoyed it a lot. Now it is time for because I am beyond exhausted from today. 

Goal for next week: I have found that I run away from a lot of things that scare me or messages/conversations that I don't know how to respond to. My goal for next week is to stop running away and confront the issues or fears upfront. I have a lot of unfinished business to take care of that I've been putting off because I never knew how to respond but that is childish and I'm ready to deal with it and move on.

"Sing...Be...Live...See...Peace..." Earth Song, Frank Ticheli